Self Help Review: Made for More? Nope.

I’m switching things up a bit this year, trying to keep the blog fresh. I will review a self-help book, or in the case of January, a self-help movie, the first Thursday of every month. I’ve certainly read my share.

One thing you’re going to learn about me is my skepticism. You may think I am a negative person, but I’m really not. Positivity is my number four strength, according to the Clifton Stengthsfinder assessment. But I’m skeptical. Or maybe I should say I’m wary of being conned.

My then-manager showed the Rachel Hollis documentary Made for More to us as a team building exercise. Rachel Hollis, in case you didn’t know (and I didn’t), is a guru of self-help for women. Her book Girl, Wash your Face was a best seller. A friend recently told me there have been accusations of plagiarism, but I don’t really know enough about it to comment. What I do know is the first half of the movie. (I declined to watch the second half, which was shown in another team meeting).

The first thing that struck me about this movie was while Rachel was discussing how her organization is all about empowering women, the video showed her husband driving the family van with the caption: CEO of her company (The Hollis Company).  I thought an empowered woman would be empower other women. Making your husband CEO of your company seems contradictory.

Further into the movie Rachel tells us about her boob job. How she hated her breasts because after nursing four children they were like yogurt, so she decided to get a boob job to increase her self-esteem/body image/whatever.

After she has justified why she wanted a boob job, she went to a scene from one of her RISE sessions (3-day personal growth conferences) where she asked the attendees how they felt about their bodies. Everyone was in tears, because everyone hated something about their bodies. It was very moving. She went on and on about how awful it was that these women hated their bodies.

I had a problem with this–not with her having a boob job–but the mixed message (and her tears) she sent to that conference of crying women with body image issues. If I had been in the audience that day, I would have felt used.

In about 40 minutes of documentary, the woman managed to turn me off. Not every “method” of self-help works for every person. Rachel Hollis is not my guru.

 

 

 

MJ Monday: MJ’s Motivation-2020 Vision

It’s that time of year again, when people make their New Year’s resolutions. My friends and I continue to set goals for the coming year. How could I not play off the year and call my plan for the next twelve months my 2020 Vision?

Pulling together an action plan for the next year requires thought and reevaluation.  I study my successes from the previous year. I envision what I’d like to accomplish. I re-prioritize my weak spots. I have combined or deleted categories until I now have only four:

  • The Writing Life
  • It’s All About Me
  • Maintenance
  • Miscellaneous

Some things never go away: a monthly date with my husband, regular contact with my elderly parents, server maintenance.

Some things I simply stopped doing this year. Time became a precious commodity, and I was spreading myself too thin.

The Writing Life continues to be my largest category, because there are specific steps that need to be taken. I have definite ideas about what I want. I try to recognize my missteps and take action to correct them.

I have two new biggies for 2020:

  1. I want to transform my office/writing room into my own space. Yes, I have a room. But my husband has bookcases in there, eating wall space where there should be white boards and planning calendars.  Nothing has been painted since we first bought the house several decades ago. I’ve been making lists, then breaking the lists into steps I need to take. I plan to blog about my progress in months where there are five Mondays.
  2. I need to focus on professional development. I’ve already taken steps to implement this. I have taken one on-line class and have registered and paid for a second one starting in January.

Taking stock of my life matters to me. I think it helps me be a better person.

 

 

MJ’s Musings: The Next Phase

As the year draws to a close, I’m reflecting on what I have learned these past twelve months. The most important lesson was  QUESTION THE PREMISE.

Several author friends urged me to check out Becca Syme and her Quit Cast on YouTube.  Although the vids are geared toward writers, I think anyone can learn the basics and apply them to their own situation. I highly recommend the first episode where Becca talks about alignment and the third episode (Question the Premise, link above).  All of her videos are wonderful, but more geared toward writers.

I feel good about finishing the third book in the Service for Sanctuary series. It’s going to be a little later than originally planned, but it’s coming along nicely. I want it right, not fast.

After I finish the werewolf book, I plan to dip my toes into the cozy mystery genre. This is an idea I’ve tinkered with for years, making random notes and so one, but late this summer, the ideas have been pelting me, so I think it’s ready to be written. The note taking has become a flurry, and I’m compiling a list of people to talk to and places to visit as part of my research. I’m really excited about that.

I also have my currently-out-of-print baseball books (five of them) that I’d like to self-publish. I have a dystopian novel I want to pitch to a publisher. And then there’s a baseball-werewolf novella gathering dust while waiting for me to get my act together.

Right now, though, I’m going to make homemade soup.

 

 

 

MJ Monday: MJ’s Manuscript-Besieged by the Moon

Phoebe was silent for another couple of blocks. “I heard all the lycanthropes in the area were gone.”

“Most of them,” Parker said. “There was a purge.”

He would never forget the stench of rotting bodies. Never be able to unsee the corpse of a child who’d tried to hide in the same bush Parker puked on. He was an EMT. Those sights and smells shouldn’t have bothered him. But they had. They would have upset anyone with a soul.

“A few survived. Because Ethan mated with Selena, our alpha sent a contingent here to help with . . . the aftermath.”

“Of a massacre?” Her voice cracked.

“I said purge.” He noted the vampires that had guarded the corner of Oak and Ash Streets hadn’t returned, thank the Ancient Ones.

“Purge. Massacre. Slaughter. It’s semantics.” Phoebe stared out the window.

“But I said purged. Ethnic cleansing.” Parker pulled to the curb in front of Ethan’s funky orange house.

“So it’s still going on.” She spoke softly, almost as if to herself.

“It’s still going on.”

MJ’s Musing: Book Bingo-Aye! Scotland!

I think the Book Bingo square I filled in first was AYE! SCOTLAND! I do love me a good Scottish historical romance. Julie Garwood, IMHO, is the best (The Bride, The Wedding), but I’ve already read those (dozens of times), so I couldn’t cheat and use them again. My friend and critique partner Gayle Callen has written Scottish historical romances, which I also love. Again: been there, can’t repeat for bingo.

There was one I hadn’t read on my Kindle. I could kill two birds with one stone: clear a title off my reader and fill in a square. The McKinnon’s Bride was just the title.

It wasn’t a bad book, but having read the best the subgenre has to offer leaves me particular in my expectations. Because I have read scores of Scottish historicals, I am jaded. I am thrilled when I find something fresh. I did not find anything new in this story.